Every relationship encounters challenges and complications from time to time. However, if you consistently feel undervalued or mistreated—whether as a partner, friend, colleague, or family member—it might be time to reassess the relationship. We’ve identified 18 signs indicating that you’re definitely dealing with a difficult person.
Aggressive Communication
According to Psych Central, “A person with an oppositional conversation style is a person who always corrects, disputes, or argues with your input.” This can appear passively aggressive or combative in conversations and may belittle others they’re talking to.
Unwillingness to Compromise
Compromise is an important pillar in any personal or professional relationship, and as Verywell Mind says, it helps to ensure everyone’s “views are heard and a mutually beneficial solution is worked out accordingly.” Someone who is unwilling to compromise will show little interest in finding a middle ground or stick rigidly to their views, making collaboration challenging.
Poor Listening Skills
Someone who shows little regard for your opinion or ideas can be difficult to talk to or build a relationship with. Harvard Business Review says, “Whether your colleagues interrupt you, ramble on, seem distracted, or are always waiting for their turn to talk, the impact is the same: you don’t feel heard, and the chances for misunderstandings and mistakes rise.”
Constant Criticism
Difficult individuals will often criticize your actions and downplay your successes; they will focus on the negative and rarely offer any constructive suggestions. This critical nature can lead to a demoralizing environment for everyone involved, whether at home, work, or in a social setting.
Excessive Need for Control
When someone has micromanagement tendencies, they will try to control every aspect of a situation and be unwilling to trust anyone else with tasks. Controlling individuals will also often dominate discussions and decision-making, sidelining others in the process.
Avoidance of Responsibility
If someone constantly shifts blame to other people, rather than owning up to personal mistakes and failures, it can be very difficult to build any sort of personal or professional relationship with them. Avoiding responsibility may also be shown through a lack of accountability for commitments.
Passive-Aggressive Behavior
A passive-aggressive individual will often express negative feelings through actions rather than direct communication or come across as moody rather than address any issues openly. They may also look to undermine others by engaging in subtle actions to take away from their efforts or successes.
Unreliability
People who are unreliable will frequently break promises or fail to follow through on agreements; they’ll also often change plans or retract decisions without notice, which may cause you inconvenience. Their lack of punctuality is also disrespectful of others’ time.
Emotional Volatility
Everyone experiences emotions differently, but unpredictable and sudden mood swings can make interactions intense and leave you feeling like you’re walking on eggshells. They may also overreact to minor issues, turning small problems into major conflicts, and can be prone to anger, frustration, or excessive excitement.
Lack of Empathy
Empathy is an important part of any relationship, and it can be difficult to deal with someone who shows little understanding or concern for the emotions of others. They may make hurtful comments or be dismissive of others’ issues, and they may appear detached or unresponsive to the emotional cues of those around them.
Manipulative Tactics
Manipulative tactics can be hard to spot, but key indicators include using people for personal gain, lying to achieve personal objectives, or guilt-tripping others to manipulate their actions or decisions. One Love says it’s important to raise these issues with the person, and if you are able to find a resolution, wait to see if their behavior changes.
Resistance to Change
Sometimes, existing knowledge or experience can lead to resistance to change, but this becomes unhealthy when someone is unwilling to adapt to new circumstances or consider innovation. These people will also often ignore constructive feedback that could lead to improvement or growth.
Overbearing Opinions
It can be difficult to deal with overbearing opinions when someone tends to dominate conversations and impose their viewpoints. They may also dismiss or invalidate opinions that are different from their own and show an overwhelming need to prove their correctness.
Boundary Violations
Setting personal and professional boundaries is key to building successful relationships with others, and it can be testing when someone disrespects them. Whether they are aware of it or not, those who disrespect your personal space and belongings or interfere in areas of your life that you don’t want them to are violating your boundaries.
Self-Centeredness
People with narcissistic tendencies often focus solely on their own interests and rarely reciprocate attention or care in relationships. Business Insider recommends that if you are faced with a self-centered individual, you should tell them how you feel, set boundaries with them, and, most importantly, know when to walk away.
Ineffective Conflict Resolution
Combative individuals will often turn minor disagreements into significant conflicts and maintain resentment long after the argument has been resolved. They will also avoid directly confronting issues they face, which can allow problems to grow and make reconciliation more difficult.
Lack of Transparency
Transparency creates a trusting environment within relationships, and a lack of it can lead to a feeling of secrecy or mistrust. This lack of transparency can be shown by withholding information or details, avoiding giving someone a straight answer, or creating confusion to avoid accountability.
Disinterest in Personal Growth
Self-improvement and personal growth are important parts of life and allow for relationships to grow together. Someone who shows little interest in this may display a lack of ambition or motivation. They may also react negatively to suggestions for development, viewing them as personal attacks.
