Much attention is given to toxic masculinity, and rightfully so, but we often overlook how toxic femininity can also have a negative impact on society. Toxic femininity refers to harmful behaviours and attitudes that perpetuate unhealthy stereotypes about women and femininity. Let’s explore 19 ways toxic femininity creates problems in society.
Encouraging Passive Aggression
According to Forbes, particularly in the workplace, “toxic femininity is passive aggression,” and often encourages women to express their frustrations and anger in passive-aggressive ways rather than directly confronting issues. This can lead to a culture of indirect communication, where problems are not addressed openly.
Upholding the Ideal of the “Perfect Woman”
The pressure to be the “perfect woman” is a common aspect, as society often expects women to be flawlessly attractive, nurturing, and accommodating, all while juggling multiple roles. This unrealistic ideal sets women up for failure, leading to feelings of inadequacy and anxiety.
Policing Other Women’s Choices
Often manifesting in the form of women policing each other’s choices, especially when those choices don’t align with traditional feminine ideals, toxic femininity can be criticising a woman’s decision to focus on her career instead of starting a family, or judging her for how she dresses. This behaviour reinforces the idea that there’s a “right” way to be a woman.
Promoting Emotional Manipulation
Emotional manipulation is another way problems can be created. Some women might use guilt, silence, or tears as tools to control or influence others, instead of engaging in open and honest communication, and while everyone can be guilty of this, toxic femininity can normalise this behaviour.
Undermining Female Leadership
Women who adopt leadership roles may be judged more harshly, often being labelled as “bossy” or “too aggressive” when displaying the same assertiveness that is praised in their male counterparts. This double standard discourages women from stepping into leadership positions and perpetuates the idea that women are better suited to supportive rather than directive roles.
Reinforcing Gender Stereotypes
While society has made strides in breaking down gender stereotypes, toxic femininity can reinforce outdated ideas about what women should or shouldn’t do. For instance, the belief that women are naturally more emotional or less capable in certain areas can be perpetuated by women themselves.
Glorifying Self-Sacrifice
One of the more subtle ways toxic femininity manifests is through the glorification of self-sacrifice, when women are often praised for putting the needs of others—especially family—before their own. While caring for others is certainly important, toxic femininity takes it to an extreme, suggesting that a woman’s value is tied to her ability to sacrifice herself for others.
Creating Competition Among Women
Often encouraging competition among women, particularly over superficial matters such as appearance, relationships, or social status, this kind of toxic mindset can lead to jealousy, backbiting, and a lack of genuine female solidarity. Instead of an environment where women lift each other up, it creates a scenario where women see each other as rivals.
Perpetuating the “Damsel in Distress” Trope
The “damsel in distress” trope is another aspect of toxic femininity that creates problems in society. This idea suggests that women are inherently helpless and need to be saved by a man, and while it may seem outdated, this trope is still prevalent in various forms of media.
Prioritising Appearance Over Substance
Obsession with physical beauty can lead women to spend excessive time, money, and energy on their looks, often at the expense of personal growth or other important aspects of life. This not only limits women’s potential but also reinforces the shallow notion that their worth is primarily based on how they look, rather than who they are.
Promoting Victimhood
If it were up to toxic femininity, women would be encouraged to see themselves primarily as victims of circumstance rather than as agents of change. While acknowledging and addressing injustice is crucial, toxic femininity can push this narrative too far, leading women to feel powerless.
Dismissing Female Anger
Labelling it as irrational or unattractive, this harmful form of femininity often dismisses or downplays female anger, discouraging women from expressing their true feelings and standing up for themselves. Instead of seeing anger as a natural emotion, women are pushed to suppress it.
Encouraging Dependency
In many cultures, women are encouraged to be dependent on men—whether financially, emotionally, or socially. This dependency is often framed as a desirable trait, with women being praised for relying on their partners rather than seeking independence, but it can create imbalanced relationships and leave women vulnerable.
Promoting the Notion That Women Must Be “Nice”
Toxic femininity often pressures women to be “nice” at all costs, even when it means sacrificing their own needs or comfort, and this expectation can lead women to avoid confrontation, suppress their opinions, and put others’ desires above their own, all in the name of being agreeable. While kindness is a virtue, toxic femininity twists it into an obligation.
Shaming Women Who Don’t Conform
Women who don’t conform to traditional feminine roles or expectations often face shaming and criticism; whether it’s choosing not to have children, dressing in a non-traditional way, or pursuing a career in a male-dominated field.
These women are often judged harshly by others, and this shaming reinforces the idea that there’s a “right” way to be a woman.
Perpetuating the Myth of Female Fragility
The mentality that women are inherently fragile and in need of protection is also pushed, and while everyone has vulnerabilities, this stereotype can be particularly damaging because it suggests that women are less capable of handling life’s challenges. Such a belief can limit opportunities for women, both in their personal lives and in their careers.
Undermining Healthy Relationships with Men
Relationships between men and women can be damaged by promoting an “us versus them” mentality. This can manifest in the belief that men are inherently flawed or that women must manipulate or control them to get what they want, resulting in distrust and resentment.
Ignoring the Importance of Female Solidarity
One of the most damaging aspects of this harmful mindset is how it undermines female solidarity, where women are pitted against each other. It weakens the bonds that could otherwise support and uplift them, and instead of uniting to challenge gender inequality and support one another, toxic femininity results in division.
Limiting Women’s Ambitions
Finally, toxic femininity can limit women’s ambitions by promoting the idea that certain goals or careers are “unfeminine” or inappropriate for women, and this not only limits individual women but also deprives society of the talents and contributions that these women could offer. If only they were encouraged to pursue their true passions and potential.
