Dealing with a narcissist can be exhausting, as they thrive on attention and can make interactions all about themselves, often leaving you drained and frustrated. Here’s how to regain control and create boundaries when dealing with a narcissist.
“That’s your opinion, not mine.”
Narcissists often present their views as the ultimate truth, leaving little room for disagreement, so by calmly stating, “That’s your opinion, not mine,” you remind them that everyone is entitled to their perspective. This phrase makes it clear that you won’t be swayed by their attempts to impose their views on you.
“I don’t need your approval.”
One of their tactics is to make you feel like you need their validation to feel good about yourself. When you say, “I don’t need your approval,” you’re asserting your independence and self-worth, and this can be a powerful way to shut down their attempts to control you.
“I’m not interested in playing this game.”
Manipulative people love to engage in mind games to keep others off-balance and under their influence, so when you say “I’m not interested in playing this game,” you’re signalling that you won’t be drawn into their manipulative tactics. This phrase makes it clear that you see through their behaviour and refuse to participate.
“Let’s agree to disagree.”
This phrase is a polite way of ending a conversation that’s going in circles, especially when the narcissist is trying to win an argument. “Let’s agree to disagree” acknowledges the difference in opinion without escalating the conflict, and it’s a graceful exit.
“I don’t have time for this right now.”
Narcissistic people often demand immediate attention and expect others to drop everything to focus on them, therefore in response, “I don’t have time for this right now,” means you’re setting a clear boundary about your priorities. This phrase shows that you’re in control of your time and won’t be manipulated.
“That’s not how I see it.”
Often trying to control the narrative by insisting their version of events is the only correct one, narcissists need to hear “That’s not how I see it,” because this challenges their perspective without being confrontational. This statement subtly asserts your autonomy and makes it clear that you have your own thoughts.
“I’m done talking about this.”
By saying, “I’m done talking about this,” you’re taking control of the situation and setting a firm boundary instead of letting them draw out the conversation. This phrase signals that the discussion is over on your terms, not theirs, and it can frustrate them because it denies them the power to dominate the conversation.
“I respect your right to feel that way.”
A way to validate their experience without getting sucked into their drama, which can often make them back off when they see you’re not taking the bait, is saying “I respect your right to feel that way.” This phrase is disarming because it acknowledges the narcissist’s feelings without giving them the reaction they’re looking for.
“That’s not up for discussion.”
When a narcissist tries to push your boundaries or make decisions for you, a firm, “That’s not up for discussion” can be incredibly effective. This phrase leaves no room for negotiation, making it clear that certain aspects of your life or decisions are off-limits.
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”
People who want to manipulate you will often try to provoke an emotional reaction by blaming or criticising you, which is why a calm, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” can diffuse their attempts by acknowledging their feelings without accepting responsibility. It will leave them at a loss, as it doesn’t give them the reaction they were hoping to trigger.
“My feelings are just as important as yours.”
Individuals with narcissism tend to prioritise their own emotions while dismissing those of others. By stating, “My feelings are just as important as yours,” you’re asserting your right to be heard and valued in the conversation, and this phrase reminds them that relationships are a two-way street.
“I won’t tolerate disrespect.”
Pushing boundaries to see how much they can get away with, including disrespectful behaviour, narcissists will be thrown off if you clearly state, “I won’t tolerate disrespect.” You’re drawing a line in the sand and letting them know that any further crossing of boundaries will have consequences.
“I’m not going to argue with you.”
Narcissists love to argue, often dragging out disagreements to keep the focus on themselves, which is why “I’m not going to argue with you,” denies them the satisfaction of conflict. It’s a powerful way to take the wind out of their sails, showing them that you won’t be drawn into their attempts to create drama.
“That’s not acceptable to me.”
When a person with an ego tries to push their agenda or behaviour onto you, responding with, “That’s not acceptable to me,” is a strong way to assert your boundaries. This phrase is direct and non-negotiable, making it clear that you have standards and won’t compromise them for anyone.
“I’m focusing on what’s important to me.”
Narcissists often try to divert your attention away from your own goals and priorities, making everything about them. By saying, “I’m focusing on what’s important to me,” you’re redirecting the conversation back to your priorities, showing that you won’t be distracted or derailed by their attempts to monopolise your time and energy.
“You’re entitled to your opinion, but it doesn’t change my mind.”
This phrase is a respectful but firm way to let a narcissist know that their attempts to persuade or control you won’t work. Saying, “You’re entitled to your opinion, but it doesn’t change my mind,” acknowledges their viewpoint without giving in to it.
“I’m not here to meet your expectations.”
People with narcissistic personality disorder often have unrealistic expectations of others, expecting them to meet their needs without question, therefore by stating, “I’m not here to meet your expectations,” you’re asserting your independence. It makes it clear that you have your own life and priorities, and you’re not responsible for fulfilling their whims.
“I deserve to be treated with kindness.”
Narcissists can be dismissive or even cruel in their interactions. By firmly stating, “I deserve to be treated with kindness,” you’re reminding them that you expect to be respected, and this phrase puts the focus back on how you want to be treated.
“That’s not my responsibility.”
Trying to shift blame or responsibility onto others to avoid taking accountability is classic narcissist behaviour; by saying, “That’s not my responsibility,” you’re refusing to take on the burden they’re trying to offload. This phrase is a clear way to set boundaries and protect yourself from being unfairly blamed.
“I value my peace too much for this.”
They’ll often thrive on chaos and drama, but you don’t have to be a part of it, so just say, “I value my peace too much for this.” You’re making it clear that your mental and emotional well-being come first, using a strong assertion of your priorities and making them back off.
