Understanding when someone is going through emotional pain can be challenging, especially if they’re not openly expressing their feelings. Men, in particular, might find it difficult to talk about their emotions due to societal expectations. These are 18 things to look for to see if a man is emotionally hurt.
Withdrawal from Social Activities
VeryWell Health reveals that “Social withdrawal can lead to a person developing a pattern of solitary activities,” and if a man starts pulling back from social activities he used to enjoy, it can be a sign that something is wrong. Whether it’s skipping out on gatherings with friends, avoiding family events, or no longer participating in hobbies, this withdrawal often indicates that he’s dealing with something heavy internally.
Changes in Sleeping Patterns
Noticeable changes in sleeping patterns can be a clear indicator of emotional distress. If a man who used to sleep soundly now struggles with insomnia, frequently wakes up during the night, or, conversely, is sleeping much more than usual, it suggests that something is weighing on his mind.
Altered Eating Habits
Emotional pain can manifest through changes in appetite, so if you notice that he’s eating significantly more or less than he used to, it could be a sign that he’s trying to cope with his feelings through food. Emotional eating or a lack of appetite can both be responses to stress and unhappiness, revealing an inner struggle.
Increased Irritability
When a man is emotionally hurting, his patience and tolerance levels may drop, leading to increased irritability. Small annoyances that he used to brush off might now trigger significant reactions. This heightened irritability can be a coping mechanism for his underlying distress, where the frustration he feels inside starts to spill over into his interactions with others.
Excessive Working
Diving into work and spending long hours at the office can sometimes be a way to escape emotional pain. Therefore, if he’s suddenly working much more than he used to, it might be because he’s trying to distract himself from his feelings. While staying busy can provide temporary relief, it often indicates that he’s using work as a way to avoid dealing with his emotions.
Diminished Interest in Appearance
A noticeable decline in personal grooming and overall appearance can also be a sign of emotional suffering. When a man who previously took pride in his looks starts neglecting basic self-care, it suggests that he’s feeling low and struggling to find motivation.
Lack of Focus
Emotional distress can significantly impact a person’s ability to concentrate, such as having trouble focusing on tasks at work, forgetting important dates, or seeming generally absent-minded. This could be a sign that he’s preoccupied with his emotions, as the mental load of dealing with emotional pain can make it challenging to stay present.
Avoiding Conversations
When a man is emotionally hurting, he might avoid conversations that could touch on his feelings. If he consistently steers clear of topics that are personal or emotional or changes the subject when such topics come up, it’s likely because he’s not ready or doesn’t know how to express what he’s going through.
Physical Complaints
Emotional pain often manifests physically. Complaints about frequent headaches, stomach issues, or unexplained aches and pains can be linked to emotional distress. Experiencing these symptoms without a clear medical cause might be his body’s way of signalling that he’s under emotional strain.
Loss of Motivation
A man who is emotionally hurting may show a marked decrease in motivation. He may no longer feel excited about the goals he once had or seem uninterested in planning for the future. Such a loss of motivation can affect various aspects of his life, including career ambitions and personal projects.
Excessive Use of Alcohol or Substances
Turning to alcohol or other substances can be a coping mechanism for emotional pain, especially if a person is drinking more than usual or using substances to an excessive degree—it’s a red flag that he’s trying to numb his feelings. This behaviour can quickly become destructive, further complicating his emotional (and physical) health.
Increased Silence
If a typically talkative man becomes unusually quiet, it can be a sign of emotional distress. Silence can be a way of withdrawing and protecting oneself from further emotional pain. He might be internalising his feelings, finding it hard to articulate what he’s going through, or simply feeling too overwhelmed to talk.
Heightened Sensitivity
Emotional pain can make someone more sensitive to comments or situations that they would normally handle without much trouble. If he’s reacting strongly to perceived slights or becoming easily upset, it’s likely because his emotional reserves are low.
Changes in Body Language
Nonverbal cues often speak louder than words. So if his body language changes, like slumping shoulders, avoiding eye contact, or crossing his arms defensively, it can indicate that he’s feeling vulnerable or stressed. These physical changes are often subconscious reactions to emotional pain.
Loss of Interest in Intimacy
A decrease in interest in physical intimacy can be a sign that a man is hurting inside, shown through pulling away from closeness or avoiding intimate moments. It might be because he’s dealing with emotional issues that make it hard to connect on a physical level.
Overwhelming Guilt
Feelings of guilt can weigh heavily on someone who is already struggling with their emotions. Expressing or exhibiting signs of guilt—even over minor things—suggests that he’s struggling internally. This overwhelming guilt can be related to past events, current situations, or an overall feeling of inadequacy.
Emotional Numbness
Sometimes, instead of showing overt signs of distress, a man might seem emotionally numb. This numbness can manifest as a lack of enthusiasm for anything, a flat emotional response to good or bad news, or an overall sense of detachment. This emotional blunting is a way to protect himself from further pain but is a clear sign that something is wrong.
Seeking Reassurance
And lastly, when a man is in pain with his feelings, he might seek constant reassurance from those around him, as this need for validation can stem from a deep-seated insecurity or a fear of being unworthy. If he’s frequently asking for affirmation or seems overly concerned with others’ opinions, it’s likely because he’s struggling with his own self-worth.
