What’s Behind the Rise in Short-Lived Marriages?

Pete Law

In today’s world, marriages unfortunately don’t seem to endure as long as they once did. As times and people change, so do the challenges that couples face. Let’s look at reasons why many modern marriages fail.

Unrealistic Expectations

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Many marriages can end in divorce due to unrealistic expectations. Couples sometimes expect their partner to know their expectations when they haven’t ever communicated them before. Then, when they’re not met, they feel disappointed and often resent their partner. It’s important to have realistic expectations of your partner and communicate them to have a healthy relationship.

Lack of Commitment

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Omega Law states, “When partners are not committed to each other, they may fail to put enough effort into their relationship. Over time, this could weaken the connection so much that divorce is inevitable.” A lack of commitment often shows up in a relationship as a couple prioritizes other things over the importance of their marriage.

Incompatibility

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People can get into marriages today without truly getting to know their partner first. They lack an understanding of their values and beliefs, and once married, when these show up, they realize they see the world differently. People also grow as individuals, and the new version of them isn’t admired by their partners anymore.

Lack of Equality

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A lack of equality in marriage can put a lot of strain on the relationship. One person may make all the decisions, making the other feel useless, or one partner may do all the work, making them feel disrespected. A healthy relationship should be equal in every aspect; this highlights what a partnership is.

Communication Breakdown

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When couples struggle to communicate in their relationship, their relationship itself struggles. With busier lives today, some couples tend to neglect the importance of communicating with each other. Or when they do communicate, it’s basic and not to the depth that the relationship requires.

Financial Struggles

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With the current economic situation, many people are struggling, and according to CNBC, 54% of people believe a partner with debt is a reason to consider divorce. This can put a lot of stress on couples who are struggling financially, and they can often see their marriage break down because of it.

Diminished Intimacy

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With hectic lifestyles, couples can find themselves not prioritizing time for intimate connections. This lack of intimacy in a relationship can make a partner feel distant and unloved. Not meeting a partner’s sexual needs can put a large strain on a relationship and cause marriages to break down.

Infidelity

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Infidelity can look different today compared to in the past. With access to social media, talking to another person while in a marriage or even engaging in posts can be classified as infidelity. This can cause severe trust issues in a relationship, which are often unrepairable, leading to marriage breakdown.

Physical and Emotional Abuse

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Any kind of abuse should not be present in any relationship or marriage. Whether it’s physical, mental, or psychological, no partner should be abused in their relationship. This can be very tough on their mental well-being and often sees them staying in their relationship for too long before being brave enough to end the marriage.

Life Stresses

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The way society is today, there are many day-to-day stresses people face. These stresses can severely impact a marriage. According to Geller Benjamin, “Often couples have one or major stresses that cannot be fixed with financial planning, counseling, bankruptcy, medical treatment or time, and result in divorce.”

Not Prepared for Marriage

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Marriage today is viewed differently than it was in the past. Many would only marry once, whereas today it’s more common to get married on more than one occasion. Some of these reasons can be because couples aren’t prepared for marriage. They don’t understand the true importance of what it entails, which often causes them to break down.

Lack of Personal Space

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In today’s world, some partners want to spend every minute of the day with their loved ones. But in many circumstances, this isn’t healthy. It can often leave a partner feeling like they can’t breathe. It’s important for a healthy relationship to have your own time and space to enjoy your personal hobbies and interests.

Unforgiveness

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Some people can struggle to forgive and move forward. They may be stubborn and not realize it’s detrimental to their marriage. A lack of forgiveness can even cause people to hold grudges, which prevents growth in the relationship. Being able to forgive in a relationship shows strength and is crucial for a healthy marriage.

Different Life Stages

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Marriages can often break down because people reach different stages in their lives. It can be common that one person wants to pursue a career while the other may want to start a family. It’s important to be able to adapt where possible to maintain a healthy marriage.

Oversharing Details of Marriage

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Many don’t understand the importance of keeping their marriage private with their partner. Instead, they may talk about it to their parents or friends, not realizing the damage this can cause. It can lead to trust issues between you and your partner and also see outsiders, such as friends and family, get involved in your personal relationship.

Addiction Issues

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Unfortunately, some marriages today are ending in divorce due to addiction issues. Whether it be alcohol, drugs, or gambling, addiction is a disease that people can struggle with, but it can also become too much for their partners. They don’t want to continue to witness their partner battling addiction; it becomes too much and causes the marriage to break down.

Overdependence on Technology

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Too many people are distracted by the technology available to them. It can become addictive, and people neglect their relationships because they’d rather be on their phones or playing the latest game. Technology can take away genuine interactions in relationships, and this leads to marriages coming to an end.

Mental Health

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The Co-Op tells us, “A study published in 2011 suggested that 18 mental disorders had been found to increase the likelihood of divorce with a range of between 20% – 80% increase.” Mental health struggles can have a big impact on marriage breakdowns. People suffering from mental health may struggle to be supportive partners, and their partner may not know how to help.