Parenting styles vary widely, and each generation has its own unique approach that reflects the times, and although baby boomers passed on valuable knowledge, wisdom, and life lessons, there were also parenting practices that could have been improved. In this article, we’ll explore 17 parenting mistakes commonly made by boomers that millennials would do well to avoid repeating.
Underestimating Emotional Intelligence
Most boomer parents valued intelligence in the traditional sense, but it was much rarer for them to consider the importance of emotional intelligence. As noted by Psych Central, emotional intelligence can make people better leaders, listeners, and communicators, among many other benefits. Therefore, millennials should seek to nurture this form of intelligence in their kids just as much as any other kind.
Ignoring the Value of Play
Decades ago, a child’s desire to play was seen as natural but also trivial and rather unimportant. However, as noted by Early Years Matters, we now know that play is essential in many aspects of a child’s development, including learning, emotional expression, social skills, and creative thinking.
Overemphasis on Authority
When it comes to discipline, boomers have a tendency to be rather strict and authoritarian, often prioritizing obedience over almost everything else. While this is somewhat effective in raising a well-mannered, rule-abiding child, it can inhibit their ability to express themselves openly and emotionally.
Neglecting Work-Life Balance
We applaud boomers for their strong work ethic and dedication to their goals. But unfortunately, this often caused them to prioritize work over rest, causing issues such as stress, burnout, and physical health symptoms in both themselves and their children. Millennials would be better off teaching their children that their happiness and mental health should come before all else.
Resistance to New Educational Methods
Many boomers love the certainty and reliability of traditional education methods. So when new approaches are proposed, it’s common for them to be resistant and skeptical. However, many of these new methods make better use of technology, cater to the needs of individual children, and promote creativity. For this reason, we think millennials should be more receptive to these benefits.
Avoiding Mental Health Discussions
Sadly, mental health was much more of a taboo topic when boomers were raising their children. As such, it was more difficult for them to speak openly about emotional and mental health issues with their kids. In order to raise happier, healthier children in the future, millennials should encourage these conversations and be mindful of the struggles they may be facing.
Gender-Stereotypical Roles
Many boomers upheld traditional gender roles and expectations for both themselves and their children. But now that we better understand the importance of gender equality and expression, we think millennials should allow their children to be free from the confines of limited gender roles, allowing them to pursue whatever and whoever they wish.
Overprotective Parenting
It’s natural and healthy for parents to want to protect their children. However, boomers sometimes took this a little too far by reducing their kids’ independence and ability to make decisions on their own. Nowadays, many people think it’s healthier to let children explore and learn from their own mistakes.
Reluctance to Embrace Technology
Technology has come an incredibly long way since boomers were kids, so it’s understandable that they’d be slower to embrace newer gadgets and screens. However, when used correctly, these tools can be hugely beneficial in helping children to learn, play, grow, and express themselves.
Avoiding Tough Conversations
Often, boomer parents made the mistake of avoiding tough but important conversations, such as discussing sex education or drug use. While these topics can be awkward to navigate with your kids, it’s very important that they’re properly informed about real-world challenges they may encounter. Having these conversations also makes it easier for kids to speak to their parents if they run into any dilemmas or issues.
Dependency on Punitive Discipline
Boomers were more likely than later generations to discipline their children with physical and punitive punishments, which WHO says has since been shown to cause harmful psychological and physiological responses. Today, it’s recommended for parents to use non-violent communication and discipline methods to teach rather than punish their children.
Dismissal of Children’s Privacy
A lot of boomer parents failed to recognize the importance of maintaining their child’s privacy. Breaching these boundaries can undermine the sense of trust and mutual respect within a parent-child relationship. Because of this, it’s recommended for millennial parents to acknowledge and respect their children’s personal space and boundaries.
Fixed Mindset Encouragement
Boomers had a tendency to prioritize results and achievements over effort in their parenting, which cultivated a rather fixed mindset. This can be harmful to a child’s self-esteem, motivation, and adaptability. On the other hand, cultivating a growth mindset helps children stay resilient, flexible, and focused on learning rather than only succeeding.
Limited Cultural Exposure
Back when boomers were in their prime, it was much less common for them to expose their children to people from different backgrounds, such as different races, cultures, and gender expressions. Nowadays, we understand that doing so can help promote open-mindedness, inclusivity, and tolerance.
Disregarding the Need for Personal Space
As mentioned previously, it’s essential to respect your children’s boundaries and privacy. Sadly, a lot of boomers overlooked the importance of this, causing them to invade their kids’ space and disrupt their private time. This can be very damaging to a child’s sense of boundaries and trust in their parents.
Overemphasis on Formal Education
A lot of boomers believed that formal education was the only option if you wanted to be successful in your life and career. However, in reality, there are many alternative education paths that can be a better fit for some people, such as apprenticeships, homeschooling, and vocational training.
Neglecting Emotional Bonding
Emotional bonding wasn’t frequently prioritized in boomer households. Thanks to modern research, such as a study by the National Library of Medicine, we now know that early emotional bonding is incredibly important in raising happy, resilient, and independent children.
