Every individual has a unique approach to relationships, and this is especially true when comparing introverts and extroverts. Although no two relationships are alike, there are some common preferences and needs that introverts tend to share, and here we explore how introverts often work through both romantic and platonic relationships differently from their extroverted counterparts.
Slow to Trust
Unlike a lot of extroverts, introverts can take quite some time to trust someone and begin opening up about their true thoughts, feelings, and experiences. However, once they do trust someone, they can become very close to them and exhibit a great deal of loyalty and commitment.
Dislike for Small Talk
Most introverts aren’t much for small talk, finding it draining, superficial, and uninteresting. Instead, they tend to prefer deeper conversations about topics they’re passionate about or interested in. This is why they typically do best in social situations and conversations founded on common interests.
Enjoy Quiet Environments
While a lot of extroverts thrive in lively social settings such as parties and festivals, introverts typically prefer quieter environments that feel less overwhelming and draining, such as hikes, movie nights, or meals together. This helps them relax and focus on the people around them. According to Scientific American, this preference largely comes from the fact that introverts tend to be more sensitive to stimuli than extroverts.
Appreciate Independence
Introverts usually value their own independence as well as other people’s. For example, it’s often important for them to feel like they’re maintaining a sense of self by pursuing some of their own individual interests and hobbies away from their partner. This helps them stay grounded and ensure that they don’t lose themselves in the relationship.
Value Deep Connections
While extroverts often enjoy making friends with many different people, introverts typically prefer to have deeper connections with just a few close people. This often means that they develop very close, deep relationships with the ones they love, taking the time to get to know them intimately.
Need for Personal Space
As noted by Verywell Family, while introverts usually cherish their time with their close ones, they also need plenty of alone time to decompress and recharge, especially after long and intense social interactions. As such, it’s important that their friends and partners respect this need and don’t make them feel guilty when they don’t want to hang out.
Deliberate Communication
Extroverts often feel comfortable saying whatever’s on their mind without giving it much thought. On the other hand, introverts typically prefer to think before they speak, sometimes taking extra time to consider which words to use to properly express their idea or perspective.
Listening Skills
Introverts often prefer to listen to others more than they talk, making them excellent listeners. They also often have a natural talent for active listening, meaning they carefully consider what’s being said to them and respond in a way that makes the other person feel heard and respected.
Process Feelings Internally
While extroverts often deal with their emotions by expressing them outwardly and immediately talking about them with others, introverts are more likely to process them inwardly first. While this can cause them to appear aloof or distant at times, it’s important to give them the space they need before they feel ready to talk about it.
Thoughtful Gift-Giving
Of course, both introverts and extroverts are capable of giving thoughtful gifts. However, introverts have a tendency to put extra thought into their gifts to ensure they have a personal meaning that will be appreciated by the recipient. Their attention to detail is often greatly appreciated by those around them.
Needs Reassurance in Social Settings
Introverts can feel very vulnerable and overwhelmed by new, busy social situations. As such, they usually greatly appreciate it when someone gives them the reassurance they need to feel more comfortable and stable. Even simple gestures, such as a comforting hand squeeze, can make a big difference.
Prefers Long-Term Relationships
While extroverts may feel pretty comfortable with casual dating, introverts find the idea to be draining and lacking in meaning. Instead, they typically look for long-term relationships where they can take the time to build trust and really get to know the other person.
Communicates Best in Intimate Settings
If you’re in a busy café or social gathering, you’re unlikely to get too much personal information out of an introvert. They feel much more comfortable opening up in quiet places without other people around, preferring one-on-one settings over large groups of people.
Analyzes Relationships Deeply
Introverts often spend a significant amount of time and energy analyzing their relationships, which helps them gain a better understanding of the dynamics between themselves and their friends or partners. However, it’s important that they try not to let this tendency lead to overthinking and unnecessary worry.
Careful with Words
Introverts are much less likely than extroverts to get caught out accidentally saying something that could be hurtful. This isn’t because they’re better people than extroverts, but simply because they spend more time thinking about what words to use before they say them.
Values Quiet Compatibility
It’s common for people to feel uncomfortable or awkward when there are silences in a conversation. However, introverts actually prefer to get to a point in their relationships where both parties feel comfortable and at ease, even when they’re spending time together in silence.
Respects Personal Boundaries
Finally, boundaries are typically very important to introverts. They thrive when they’re able to set their own boundaries, and they’re typically very good at respecting other people in turn. As noted by Michael Pollard, healthy boundaries can help introverts protect their energy and stay true to themselves.
