Avoid These 17 Money Mistakes People Make in Relationships

Pete Law

There’s no denying that starting a joint bank account with your partner can take your relationship to the next level, but be careful, as managing finances together can be tricky. Even couples with the best intentions sometimes stumble over cash-related conflicts, potentially leading to tension, misunderstandings, or even breakups! Therefore, knowing what to look out for can save stress and keep things running smoothly, so here are some of the most common pitfalls to avoid when handling money with your partner.

Avoiding Conversations About Money

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While it’s true that financial discussions can be difficult, skipping them altogether isn’t the answer. Yes, it might seem like the easier route, but doing so will just cause further issues later down the line. Ultimately, partners who don’t talk about their financial goals or concerns can drift apart in their spending and saving habits, so have a regular chat about budgets and future plans, and these conversations will start to feel easier.

Assuming the Other Person Will Handle It

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It’s never a good idea to rely on your partner to manage all the finances. When you’re busy, it might seem convenient to do this, but it’s only ever going to lead to resentment or misunderstandings. When only one partner knows where the money goes, the other may feel left out or uninformed, so try to maintain a shared understanding of your financial situation to ensure that you’re both on the same page.

Keeping Secrets About Spending

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It should go without saying that having a secret shopping spree or a sneaky credit card will only ever lead to serious trust issues. Obviously, both partners deserve to have their personal spending money, but hiding purchases is never the way to handle this. Form an open agreement in regard to individual budgets and discretionary funds, and you’ll avoid creating feelings of dishonesty or frustration when bank statements appear.

Failing to Budget as a Team

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The most important thing to remember when sharing finances with your partner is that you’re a team, both romantically and financially. Therefore, it’s both of your responsibilities to create a budget and stick to it–otherwise, your expenses will spiral. Remember: a joint plan doesn’t have to be restrictive, but it helps both parties stay aware of their limits and shared goals.

Overspending on Gifts for Each Other

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Big gestures, such as exuberant gifts, can often be a tempting way of showing your love in a relationship. However, splashing out on lavish gifts could cause financial strain, putting you both under pressure to meet ever-growing expectations. In general, it’s better to agree on modest spending limits for special occasions. Above all, thoughtful presents or shared experiences will always mean more than pricey items that dent your budget.

Combining Finances Too Quickly

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Even if you’ve been with your partner for a year or two, that might be too soon to pool your finances together. Yes, it can feel like a natural step forward, but it will only complicate things if the partnership ends unexpectedly. Because of this possibility, it’s wise to wait until you have long-term plans before merging accounts.

Not Discussing Debt

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One of the worst money mistakes that you could make in a relationship is hiding debt from your partner. Yes, it can be scary to admit to debts, especially if your relationship is otherwise going smoothly, but it will all come out in the end. So, bite the bullet and be open with your partner about any debts that you may have, and we’re sure that you’ll figure out ways of tackling this as a team.

Assuming Equal Contribution Is Fair

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Contrary to popular belief, splitting expenses 50/50 isn’t always the fairest decision when sharing finances in a relationship. This is because it doesn’t always reflect individual financial circumstances; for example, one partner might earn significantly less, making equal contributions a burden for them. Instead of oversimplifying things, discuss proportional contributions based on income, and you’ll help keep things fair and reduce unnecessary pressure.

Prioritising Short-Term Fun Over Savings

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Especially when you’ve only been together for a couple of years, it’s easy to focus on enjoying holidays and nights out with your partner rather than thinking of long-term goals. Don’t get carried away with this way of thinking, though; neglecting savings for big expenses, like buying a home or retirement, can cause all sorts of stress later down the line. As a compromise, try to find a balance between enjoying the present and preparing for the future, keeping both of you secure.

Ignoring Financial Education

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In relationships, it’s all too common for one partner to be more knowledgeable about money matters than the other. Naturally, this will always be the case to some degree, but one partner relying on the other for financial advice isn’t ideal. Therefore, if you’re not confident about budgets or investments, try to find ways to learn together and share any knowledge that you have.

Forgetting to Plan for Emergencies

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Life is full of surprises that we can never anticipate, so failing to prepare for the unexpected can leave you and your partner vulnerable. To combat this, remember to build up an emergency fund, giving you both a safety net for medical bills, car repairs, or other surprises. Make sure that you agree on how much to set aside, and you’ll be able to tackle the future together head-on.

Neglecting Individual Goals

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While joint financial goals are certainly important, this should never come at the expense of ignoring personal ambitions. Over time, this is only ever going to lead to resentment, so make sure that you’re both putting money aside for solo trips, hobbies, and any other individual goals. Ultimately, this will help you to avoid one partner feeling like they’ve sacrificed too much for the relationship.

Letting Money Control Arguments

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We can all agree that money can be a sensitive subject, but you should never let it dominate your disagreements, as this will only lead to tension. Instead, take a calm approach to financial discussions and avoid blame, treating money issues as challenges to tackle together, building trust instead of eroding it.

Underestimating the Cost of Living Together

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Moving in together often seems like a way to save money, but the reality can be quite different. Shared bills, furniture, and unexpected expenses quickly add up, so don’t forget to take time to calculate realistic costs, helping you to avoid surprises later down the line.

Ignoring Financial Independence

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Even in the closest relationships, maintaining some sort of financial independence is crucial. Yes, you might still want to have a joint account, but this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t also have separate personal accounts. Don’t be fooled into thinking that this separates you because, in reality, it gives each partner autonomy and reduces feelings of control.

Forgetting to Revisit Financial Plans

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Another money mistake that you should avoid making in your relationship is assuming that what worked when you first got together still suits you in your current situation. That’s not always the case, and ignoring the need to update your financial approach can cause misalignment over time. Thankfully, you can resolve this issue by simply checking in with each other regularly in regard to savings, investments, or big purchases, keeping your plans relevant and practical.

Overlooking Cultural or Familial Differences

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Last but not least, you should never forget that different upbringings tend to shape how people view money, and sadly, these perspectives might not always align. For example, one partner might value saving over spending, whereas another will prioritise treating themselves over long-term security. Ultimately, it’s imperative to be aware of these differences and to address them openly; otherwise, your relationship could be plagued with financial misunderstandings.