In an ideal world, every child would grow up in a nurturing environment with loving parents who prioritize their needs and mental health. Unfortunately, this is not the reality for many people, and the scars left by toxic parenting can deeply affect their emotional well-being and personal development. These are the 17 signs that suggest you were likely raised by toxic parents.
Struggle with Setting Boundaries
As noted by Choosing Therapy, toxic parents often fail to listen to what their children really want and need, resulting in numerous boundary violations. As a result, it can be difficult for kids raised under these conditions to set healthy boundaries once they reach adulthood. If you find it difficult to say no or assert your needs, you may have been raised by toxic parents.
Fear of Abandonment
Unhealthy parents or caregivers frequently emotionally or physically abandon their children in some way. This leads to a deep-rooted fear of abandonment that can persist into adulthood. As a result, individuals raised in this way may be overly preoccupied with meeting the needs of others so they don’t leave them.
Hypercritical of Self and Others
According to WebMD, toxic parents have an unfortunate tendency to be extremely harsh and judgmental toward their children. People raised in this way often internalize this negative messaging, leading them to become overly critical of themselves and sometimes of others, too.
Chronic Self-Doubt
Sadly, toxic parents commonly create feelings of inadequacy and doubt in their children. They may have constantly criticized or belittled the choices, actions, or physical attributes of their kids. If you were raised this way, it’s likely that you struggle with self-doubt and the feeling that you’re not good enough.
Excessive People-Pleasing
Speaking of excessively putting others’ needs above their own, those raised by toxic parents often become people pleasers who sacrifice their own happiness to appease others. This is usually because they learned they could only earn love or safety from their parents by putting their needs first.
Difficulty Trusting Others
Those raised by toxic parents often learn that even those closest to them can’t be trusted to keep their best interests in mind. Because of this, these individuals can be overly cautious and skeptical of others’ motives, worrying that they may end up being betrayed or hurt.
Fear of Confrontation
Kids raised by toxic caregivers may have learned that speaking back or expressing their needs causes dangerous situations or scary emotional outbursts. Because of this, they often fear confronting others, preferring to keep things bottled up to avoid upsetting anyone else.
Emotional Regulation Issues
It’s essential for parents to emotionally regulate their children when they’re young so that they can eventually learn to regulate their own emotions. But sadly, many children aren’t emotionally heard or regulated. These people may struggle to process their own feelings into adulthood, resulting in overwhelming feelings, numbness, or uncontrollable mood swings.
An Overwhelming Need for Control
Toxic parents often fail to give their children any control over their lives, needs, or environments. In order to compensate, adults who were raised in this way may exhibit an excessive need for control over many aspects of their lives.
Carrying Undue Responsibility
Children raised by toxic parents are frequently blamed for things that were not really their fault. As a result, they may end up carrying an unnecessary and unfair sense of responsibility for things that go wrong around them, even if they’re not to blame.
Chronic Guilt or Shame
Do you feel like you’re constantly burdened by a sense of guilt or shame? If so, it’s likely you were raised by toxic parents. According to Choosing Therapy, mentally unhealthy caregivers often use shame as a form of punishment and place undeserved blame on their children, leading them to internalize a sense of shame and inadequacy.
Perpetual Feeling of Loneliness
Even in a room full of friends, people raised by toxic parents may still feel alone. This perpetual feeling of isolation and loneliness often stems from their parents failing to build an emotional connection with their child, leaving them feeling misunderstood and unseen.
Tendency Toward Self-Sabotage
When kids grow up around toxic parents, they often develop the belief that they’re unworthy or undeserving of success. As a result, they commonly end up subconsciously sabotaging their own success or pushing those closest to them away.
Extreme Sensitivity to Rejection
Those raised by toxic parents may have faced numerous experiences in which they were rejected, hurt, and criticized. Because of this, they may feel unlovable and inadequate, causing them to fear others rejecting them and experiencing these same painful emotions again.
Compulsive Need for Achievement
Often, toxic parents teach their children that they’re only good enough when they succeed or achieve great things. It’s no surprise that kids raised in this way sometimes develop a compulsive need for achievement and success, which they sadly see as a measure of their self-worth.
Difficulty Enjoying Success
And yet, even when these individuals do find success, they may still end up feeling hollow inside. This is often because they believe they don’t truly deserve success or that no matter what they achieve, they’ll never be good enough.
Attraction to Toxic Relationships
Sadly, many children raised by toxic parents aren’t out of the woods once they leave their family homes. These individuals may be subconsciously attracted to people whose relationship dynamics mimic those of their parents, often resulting in emotionally damaging situations.
