In conversations, we all want to be heard and understood, but sometimes subtle behaviours can unintentionally undermine or dismiss the other person’s point of view. Men, in particular, may engage in certain habits that can discredit women without realising it.
Interrupting Mid-Sentence
Interrupting someone is one of the quickest ways to dismiss their thoughts, and it often happens without a second thought. While everyone interrupts from time to time, studies show that men tend to interrupt women more often in conversations.
Explaining Her Own Point Back to Her
Also known as “mansplaining,” this is when a man feels the need to re-explain something a woman has just said, often in simpler terms. This can come across as patronising and suggests that her initial explanation wasn’t clear or valid.
Shifting Focus to His Own Experience
When a woman shares a story or an experience, a subtle way men might dismiss it is by immediately shifting the focus to their own similar experience. Jumping in too soon with “That happened to me too…” can make it seem like the man’s story is more important.
Questioning Her Expertise
Men often unintentionally discredit women by questioning their expertise, especially in traditionally male-dominated fields, and this could be as simple as asking follow-up questions that imply doubt or scepticism. Even if it’s done out of curiosity, it can create an imbalance, where the woman feels like she constantly has to prove her knowledge.
Dismissing Emotions as Overreactions
If a woman expresses her feelings, particularly frustration or anger, a common response from men is to dismiss it as an “overreaction” or to tell her to “calm down.” This undermines the validity of her emotions and suggests that they aren’t as rational or justified as they would be if expressed by a man.
Taking Credit for Her Ideas
In group settings, it’s not uncommon for a man to accidentally take credit for an idea a woman has put forward; he might rephrase it or present it as his own, sometimes without even realising. This can be incredibly frustrating for women, as it not only dismisses their contributions but also gives the impression that their ideas are only valuable when presented by a man.
Assuming She Wants Help
Sometimes, when a woman shares a challenge or frustration, the immediate response from men is to offer solutions rather than just listening, even if this comes from a place of wanting to help. Yet it can discredit the woman’s ability to solve the issue herself.
Speaking Over Her
In conversations, particularly in group settings, men may speak over women, either by raising their voice or simply starting to talk while she’s mid-sentence. This sends the message that what the man has to say is more important or urgent, even if that’s not the intention.
Minimising Her Accomplishments
Some men may unintentionally downplay it by responding with a dismissive “Oh, that’s not that hard” or “I could do that too” when a woman shares an accomplishment. It may not be meant as an insult, but this kind of response diminishes the achievement and can make the woman feel like her success isn’t as significant.
Making Jokes at Her Expense
Humour is often used to lighten the mood, but when jokes are made at a woman’s expense, especially about her abilities or intelligence, it can be discrediting. Even if it’s framed as light-hearted banter, it can undermine her confidence and make others see her in a less serious light.
Assuming She Needs Things Explained
Even in conversations about common topics, men might sometimes assume women need more background information or simplified explanations, and this can feel condescending. It suggests that the woman lacks the same level of understanding as the man, and over time, these small instances can make women feel as though they’re constantly being underestimated.
Talking Down to Her
In certain situations, men may take on a patronising tone, whether they realise it or not. This could involve simplifying their language or using phrases like “Don’t worry, you wouldn’t get it,” and such language can feel belittling, dismissing the woman’s ability.
Ignoring Her Contributions
Women’s contributions can sometimes be overlooked or ignored in meetings or group discussions, with attention shifting back to what the men are saying—even when a woman makes a valid or insightful point. This can make women feel invisible in conversations and less likely to contribute in the future.
Assuming She Isn’t Interested
Men may sometimes assume that women aren’t interested in certain topics, especially those traditionally associated with men, like sports or technology, which ends up with men dominating conversations on these subjects or not involving women in them at all. Even if not intentional, it sends the message that women’s opinions on these topics aren’t relevant.
Being Overly Defensive
When a woman offers feedback or challenges a man’s opinion, he might become overly defensive, shutting down the conversation or doubling down on his original point. This behaviour can make women feel like their opinions are being dismissed and that there’s no room for open, balanced discussion.
Assuming She’s Representing All Women
If a conversation is happening about gender or women’s issues, some men might expect a woman to speak on behalf of all women, placing undue pressure on her to represent an entire gender. This can feel burdensome and dismissive of her individual perspective.
Treating Her Ideas as Novelty
Sometimes, a woman’s ideas may be treated as a novelty or surprising simply because they come from a woman; comments like “That’s an interesting perspective from you” can feel discrediting because they imply that her contributions are noteworthy only because they’re unexpected from a woman. It suggests that women’s ideas aren’t naturally assumed to be insightful.
Overriding Her Decisions
In situations where decisions need to be made, some men may unintentionally override a woman’s choices or offer alternatives without considering that she’s already thought through the situation. This can feel dismissive of her judgement and expertise, especially if she’s in a position of leadership or authority.
Acting as the “Final Word”
Where differing opinions are presented, men may sometimes position themselves as the “final word” or authority on the topic, and this can happen even if the woman is more knowledgeable about the subject. When a man insists on having the last say, it can discredit the woman’s input and create an unbalanced dynamic.
Being Patronising About Work-Life Balance
Whenever discussing topics like work-life balance, men may offer advice or opinions that feel patronising, such as assuming women need extra guidance on how to manage their careers and personal lives. The advice may come from a well-meaning place, but it can still feel dismissive of the woman’s ability to manage her own time.
Overruling Emotional Topics
Lastly, during conversations where emotions are involved, men may sometimes overrule the emotional aspect by focusing purely on logic or solutions. While logic is important, it’s crucial to recognise that both emotional and logical responses have value in conversations, and one shouldn’t override the other.
