19 Signs Your Friend Is Not Really A Friend

Jana Warner

There are certain signs that can reveal whether a person genuinely cares about others, and recognizing these indicators is important, as it helps you avoid one-sided relationships where your compassion isn’t reciprocated. This article explores ways to identify if someone lacks concern for others.

Bragging

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If a person constantly talks about their own personal achievements without showing any interest in yours, then chances are they don’t care about others. Bragging shows a lack of empathy and how a person thinks they’re more important than you. They may even undermine others to stay in the spotlight.

Only Talking About Themselves

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You may find that someone only talks about themselves if they dominate conversations with personal stories. Another thing this person may do is interrupt you or others to redirect the focus back to themselves. Only talking about themselves shows a lack of interest in other people’s lives.

Your Needs Come Last

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If you have a close relationship with this person, it can mean that even when you need them, they put your needs last. This is supported by Believe in Mind, which writes, “Healthy relationships involve compromise, but if you’re always the last priority, that shows a lack of respect for you and your well-being.”

One-Sided Friendship

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If you find that a person you’re friends with never shows any interest in your life or feelings, then they might not care about others. For example, Psych Central writes, “They might organize a gathering and leave you out, even when you’re part of the team. Or they may spend all the time talking about themselves and never get to you.”

No Reciprocation

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This can involve a person taking favors without returning them. They may also become defensive and make excuses if you ask them for help. It’s a sure sign that they’re taking advantage of relationships and you should ensure that you stay away from them.

Over-dramatic Responses

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Someone who doesn’t care about other people may exaggerate issues that they’re involved in. This negative trait minimizes other people’s problems because they’re responding in over-dramatic ways, which puts attention back on them. It creates unnecessary drama and keeps the focus on this person.

Good at Steering a Conversation

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While this may seem like a good trait to have, it can also be negative when people don’t care about you. For example, it means a person always steers the conversation back to themselves. This particular person will ignore other people’s interests and minimize the importance of their experiences.

Insensitive

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If a person is insensitive, then they often disregard others’ feelings and boundaries. All of their acts are based on self-interest and they lack empathy and understanding. Insensitive people won’t be able to give you help or advice, so they’re best avoided if you need support.

Never Apologizing

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Someone who never apologizes is unwilling to acknowledge their mistakes and has zero accountability. They always avoid responsibility for their actions and have a lack of remorse or consideration. Don’t expect an apology from anyone who doesn’t care about other people, as they don’t see the need for it.

No Conversation Skills

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If you find that a person can’t have a two-way conversation and is the only one talking, then it shows they may not care about others. You may also find that if you or someone else is speaking, they may divert the conversation to a topic they want to talk about.

They’re Annoyed When You Accept Things

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A person may sometimes offer to help you with something and then expect you to decline. If you accept, they’ll become annoyed. These gestures are supposed to come across as sincere, but really they’re only used to lead you into believing a person is kind-hearted.

Always the Victim

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Psychology Today writes, “A person who plays the victim actively manipulates others by attention-seeking, inflicting guilt, and evading accountability.” They’ll always shift the blame onto others and ignore any form of accountability. Playing the victim shows they don’t care about other people and only think of themselves.

Not Returning Shopping Carts

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Something as simple as returning your cart after grocery shopping says a lot about a person. If someone doesn’t bother to do this, then it shows they don’t care about annoying other customers or grocery store workers. It’s a form of selfishness, even if it’s just a small action.

Rudeness to Waitstaff

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There is never any need to be rude to waitstaff. It shows a lack of respect for other people and reveals how a person can look down on people they believe are below them. Being rude to anyone in the service industry shows a person’s true character, and that’s not someone you want to be around.

Devices on Loud

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Ignoring public etiquette and playing things out loud on a device, such as music, is considered disrespectful behavior. For example, Information Week writes, “This was picked as the most offensive behavior by 21.48% of respondents.” It shows a lack of awareness and just how self-centered a person can be.

Greediness

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Taking advantage of others for personal gain is a sign of greed and shows a person doesn’t care about others. These people will have a lack of generosity and empathy. They’ll always prioritize material wealth over relationships, as they consider their possessions to be more important.

Shamelessness

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Someone who doesn’t care about others may admit their wrongdoings without any remorse. They may justify any poor behaviors with past experiences, using them as an excuse. Shamelessness means a person lacks moral accountability. You don’t want to have a relationship with someone who has no morals.

Their Children Owe Them Everything

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Expecting constant gratitude from their children is a sign that a person only cares about themselves. They believe that they’re entirely responsible for a child’s success and sometimes even expect repayment for it. What they’re unable to see is that their child could have worked hard themselves to be successful.

Lack of Empathy in Conversations

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Regain writes, “Interacting with people who do not have empathy can be difficult. Their behavior may seem selfish or inconsiderate, so it’s important to communicate clearly and set strong boundaries.” You may also find that a person avoids discussing topics with personal depth, and conversations may be superficial.