We all know someone who struggles with social skills, often doing things that annoy or frustrate those around them. This article delves into common mistakes made by individuals who aren’t great at socialising—how many of them do you do?
Raise Their Voices
Our trained social skills tell us that it’s rude to raise our voices when talking to someone. But people who lack social skills don’t know this fact. They raise their voices to be heard and then wonder why others don’t want to spend time in their company.
Forget Small Talk
We can’t talk about deep subjects with people that we’ve just met. But people who lack social skills often forget this. They forget to engage in small talk with strangers and jump straight in with deep topics that make others feel uncomfortable. This behavior quickly ends the conversation.
Don’t Listen
Figures from the MOspace Institutional Repository show that “many of us spend 70 to 80 percent of our time in some form of communication. Of that time, we spend about 9 percent writing, 16 percent reading, 30 percent speaking, and 45 percent listening.” People with poor social skills don’t listen.
Long Face
When someone lacks social skills, they find social situations very stressful. This stress reads all over their faces. Other people can tell that they’re not having a good time. As a result, they feel uncomfortable around them and are reluctant to invite them again in the future.
Isolate Themselves
People with poor social skills tend to isolate themselves instead of readily spending time with others. Being in the company of others makes them feel anxious, so they would rather be alone than with anyone else. They’re not lonely; in fact, they enjoy their own company.
Talk Over Others
People who don’t know how to socialize with others tend to talk over people instead of listening to them. They are so concerned about being a part of the conversation that they don’t use conversation etiquette. Other people take note of this and become irritated by them.
Eye Contact
Scientific American says that “making eye contact has long been conceived as acting like a cohesive glue, connecting an individual to the person with whom they are talking.” People who lack social skills sometimes forget to make eye contact when talking or hold uncomfortable eye contact.
Don’t Ask Questions
Asking questions is an important part of a conversation. This tells the other person that you’re listening to them and interested in what they have to say. If you don’t ask questions, people might think you’re self-centered. People with poor social skills struggle to ask questions in conversation.
They Go First
If a person has poor social skills, they might forget that it’s good etiquette to allow others to serve themselves before they do. They always go first and make sure they have the best of everything. People view them as selfish and don’t want to be with them.
One-Word Responses
People with poor social skills sometimes fail to understand that one-word responses can make others feel like they’re disinterested in the conversation. These socially awkward people think that any response is better than no response but don’t realize how a short response can put an end to a conversation.
Ignore Personal Space
According to Psychology Today, “The intimate space for our closest relationships is 0–18 inches apart, the personal space for family and friends is 18 inches to 4 feet of distance, the social space for casual and professional relationships is 4–10 feet, and the public space for strangers is over 10 feet.” People with poor social skills ignore these norms.
Self-Absorbed
Poor social skills can make it hard for someone to really be interested in others. Because of this, they might forget to ask others questions and conversations are always about them. People can find it hard to talk to this kind of person and may stop trying.
Keep Talking
People with poor social skills often forget that they have to let others have a share in the conversation for it to be interesting to them. They talk a lot and don’t let others get a word in edgewise. People find these kinds of conversations boring and monotonous.
Poor Time Keeping
A person with bad social skills doesn’t know how to keep good social timing. It’s acceptable to turn up for a relaxed evening gathering on time or a little bit later. Someone with awkward social skills might turn up an hour early and not know what to do.
Overly Sensitive
Some people who lack social skills are way too sensitive, and this makes it hard for people to feel relaxed or comfortable in their company. “Evidence suggests that early experiences may have an epigenetic effect on the genes associated with sensitivity,” says Psychology Today.
Too Hands-On
People who are socially awkward struggle to understand the difference between a light, friendly tap or nudge and being way too hands-on. They might make people feel uncomfortable by being too tactile. This kind of behavior could even get them into trouble with some people.
Overstay
Poor social skills might make a person overstay their welcome. They may still be there after everyone else has gone home, but they’re still there, waiting for something to happen. They might not get the subtle hints that the organizers throw at them and end up making the end of the evening feel very awkward.
