Relationships can be tricky, right? Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things just don’t work out. But did you know there are certain traits that can almost guarantee your relationship will hit a rough patch? In this list, we’ll explore 19 traits that could be causing trouble in paradise, so if you recognize any of these in yourself or your partner, it might be time for a serious chat.
Emotional Unavailability
Being with someone who is emotionally unavailable can leave you feeling lonely or isolated, as they tend to prioritize their own needs over yours, or the needs of the relationship. Healthline says, “If you do all the calling, texting, and planning, there’s a good chance they’re emotionally unavailable.”
Trust Issues
According to Verywell Mind, “People who have experienced some type of betrayal, such as unfaithfulness in a relationship, may develop trust issues that can interfere with future relationships.” This can lead to suspicion or jealousy, which creates tension between you.
Financial Strain
Disagreeing about how you save or spend your money can create stress and tension within the relationship, and Experian says, “73% of married or cohabiting… say they experience relationship tension due to money decisions.” This can also happen when there’s a big difference in how much each person earns.
Lack of Communication
Communication is essential in a healthy relationship in order to make sure you are able to discuss difficult topics or express your feelings openly. If your conversations become less frequent or appear to be more surface-level than they used to be, it can show that you are lacking an emotional connection.
Incompatible Goals
It’s okay to have different goals, but if they are completely incompatible, then it may be difficult to align your lives in terms of career aspirations, lifestyle choices, or family plans. When it comes to major life decisions such as marriage, children, or relocation, if there are disagreements, it can cause a big strain on the relationship.
Lack of Compromise
If you find that you and your partner have become rigid in your own viewpoints, it might lead to tension and resentment within your relationship. Being inflexible can mean conflict becomes difficult to resolve as it’s harder to find common ground between the two of you.
Controlling Behavior
Controlling behavior can show up in a number of ways within a partnership. It may be that a partner will try to monitor your day-to-day activities, which will reduce the trust between you. They could also try to manipulate your behavior or dictate your life choices.
Resentment
If you are unable to resolve conflicts or let go of past anger towards each other, it can lead to resentment and reduce your level of emotional intimacy. It’s important to let go of any previous mistakes your partner may have made in order to heal and move forward together in a positive way.
Lack of Intimacy
If the intimacy starts to reduce in a relationship, it “can lead to serious relationship issues like anger, infidelity, communication breakdown, lack of self-esteem, and isolation,” according to Marriage.com. This is because each partner begins to feel disconnected and dissatisfied.
Poor Conflict Resolution Skills
Every couple faces conflicts, but if you are unable to deal with them in a positive or constructive manner, it can mean they escalate. Calling your partner names or shouting at each other, for example, can damage the emotional well-being of your relationship. Avoiding conflict rather than addressing issues head-on can also create resentment and tension.
Disrespect
Respect is a key foundation of any relationship. Couples who disrespect each other’s opinions or perspectives will often create a hostile environment, which means they are unable to openly communicate with or understand one another. Disrespectful partners may also ignore your boundaries or feelings.
Infidelity
Cheating on each other is one of the biggest breaches of trust in a relationship and undermines the foundation of your connection. It can also cause you to lose intimacy as a couple, making it difficult to rebuild trust in your relationship in order to move forward.
Different Values
Differences in your core values and beliefs can lead to conflict between you and dissatisfaction in your partnership. These disagreements may stem from important issues such as religion or politics, making it difficult to find any common ground between you. Over time, this can create a feeling of disconnect within the relationship.
Neglect
Of course, everyone needs to place importance on their own personal development and life choices, but it’s also important to invest time and energy into the relationship. Without this, it can leave the other partner feeling neglected or dissatisfied, which over time can create feelings of resentment.
Lack of Support
It’s essential to be there for each other during tough times, as not supporting each other will often leave you feeling abandoned by your partner. This can also undermine the sense of partnership between you, reducing your emotional connection to one another.
Unresolved Trauma or Baggage
If you have trauma from your past that you haven’t worked to resolve, it can end up creating emotional barriers between you and your partner. This trauma might involve painful emotions that make it hard for you to trust your partner or to develop a healthy, intimate relationship.
Growing Apart
Sometimes, relationships become distant as you grow apart from one another. Often, this can make either partner feel isolated or disconnected, which means it’s hard to feel a sense of partnership between both parties. Over time, this can end up making you feel like you’re strangers despite being in a relationship.
Inequality in Power Dynamics
If one partner starts to dominate or control the other, it creates a power imbalance between the couple. This can lead to tension and conflict, meaning they are less able to cooperate with one another or communicate openly. It can also leave the less dominant partner feeling like they’ve lost their sense of identity.
Lack of Future Planning
Spending time planning your future together is exciting and helps you work towards joint goals. When this isn’t discussed, however, it can leave each partner feeling uncertain or insecure, as they don’t know where the relationship is headed. If this carries on, it can lead to anxiety about the future.
