Relationships with narcissists can be tricky. They often seem charming and charismatic at first, but dealing with them on a deeper level can be draining and damaging. Knowing what to keep to yourself can help you maintain your emotional well-being. Here are 21 things you should never share with a narcissist to protect yourself.
Your Deepest Fears
Psych Central explains that many narcissists “play on emotions such as fear” and thrive on power and control. Knowing your deepest fears gives them exactly that, so if you share what scares you the most, they might use it against you in subtle or obvious ways.
Personal Insecurities
Everyone has insecurities, but sharing them with a narcissistic person can be like handing them a weapon, as they might exploit your vulnerabilities to manipulate or belittle you, making you feel worse about yourself. It’s essential to protect your self-esteem by keeping your insecurities private. Instead, work on them with trusted friends or a therapist.
Intimate Details About Your Relationships
People who are narcissists often view other people as competitors or threats. If you talk about the intimate details of your relationships, whether romantic or platonic, with them, they might try to sabotage them out of jealousy or spite. So, to keep your relationships healthy and secure, it’s best to avoid discussing them in detail.
Financial Information
Money is a significant area where narcissists can exert control. This is why revealing your financial details, such as your income, savings, or debts, can make you vulnerable to exploitation. They might pressure you for loans, gifts, or financial support.
Career Aspirations
Discussing your career goals with a narcissistic individual can lead to jealousy or attempts to undermine your progress. They may belittle your ambitions or try to sabotage your efforts to feel superior. Protect your professional dreams by keeping them private and sharing them only with supportive colleagues or mentors.
Future Plans
Those with narcissistic traits often feel threatened by the idea of you having a future that doesn’t revolve around them. Sharing your plans, whether they involve travel, moving, or personal development, can provoke negative reactions. Therefore, to safeguard your aspirations, discuss your future plans with people who will encourage you instead.
Past Mistakes
Everyone has made mistakes, but a manipulative person can use your past against you, such as bringing up old errors to shame or control you. By keeping your past mistakes to yourself, you can avoid giving them any ammunition.
Honest Opinions
Narcissists often react poorly to honest feedback or criticism, taking it as a personal attack. When you share your genuine opinions, especially if they’re not entirely positive, they may retaliate with anger or manipulation. It’s safer to be diplomatic and cautious with your words around them to avoid unnecessary conflict.
Personal Achievements
It’s common for those with a narcissistic personality disorder to feel envious of your successes and may try to downplay or sabotage them. Sharing your personal achievements might lead to resentment or attempts to steal the spotlight, so it’s much better to celebrate your victories with those who will genuinely be happy for you.
Emotional Struggles
Opening up about your emotional struggles can make you a target for manipulation. Narcissists might pretend to care initially but later use your feelings to control or belittle you. Protect your mental health by sharing your emotional challenges with empathetic friends, family, or a therapist instead.
Conflicts with Others
If you discuss conflicts you’re having with other people, those prone to manipulation might use this information to further isolate you or stir up more trouble. They thrive on drama and may try to escalate the situation. To keep your social interactions peaceful, avoid sharing details about any other conflicts.
Personal Boundaries
Pushing boundaries is another pastime of narcissists who may not respect your limits. Sharing what your boundaries are can give them a roadmap to violate them intentionally, so keep your boundaries firm but private, enforcing them as needed without providing too much explanation.
Health Issues
Your health is a personal matter, and sharing too much can lead to exploitation, as this person might use your health problems to gain sympathy or manipulate you into feeling indebted to them. Stick to keeping your health information confidential and seek support from trusted medical professionals.
Trust Issues
If you have trust issues, revealing them to a narcissist can backfire because they can use this knowledge to manipulate you, making you doubt yourself even more. To protect your sense of trust, work through these issues with a supportive and trustworthy person rather than a narcissist.
Family Problems
Discussing family problems with a narcissistic individual can give them more ways to manipulate you. They may use this information to drive a wedge between you and your loved ones—or to gain sympathy and control. Keep family matters private and seek advice from those who truly have your best interests at heart.
Detailed Routines
Those with narcissism might use your daily routines against you, too, such as showing up uninvited or interrupting your plans to assert control. Ensure your schedules and routines are vague, sharing only what’s necessary and keeping the rest to yourself to maintain independence.
Private Thoughts
If you’re open to sharing your innermost thoughts with a narcissist, it can make you vulnerable to their manipulative tactics. They might twist your words or use them to undermine you. Instead, you should protect your mental space by keeping your thoughts private.
Weaknesses
We all have weaknesses, but exposing them to an egomaniac can make you an easy target for their mind games. They might exploit your weaknesses to gain the upper hand. Instead, focus on strengthening yourself and discuss any areas of improvement with supportive individuals.
Opinions About Others
If you share your honest opinions about mutual acquaintances or friends, a narcissist might use this information to create conflicts or manipulate those relationships. It’s best to keep your opinions about others to yourself when dealing with a person like this to avoid unnecessary drama.
Love Life
Discussing the details of your love life with an arrogant and manipulative person can lead to jealousy, envy, and interference. They might try to undermine your relationship or create problems, which can be avoided if you maintain your romantic life private and share it only with the right people.
Personal Goals
Lastly, you should never share your personal goals with a narcissistic individual. Doing this can make you vulnerable to sabotage or ridicule from them, thanks to feeling threatened by your aspirations. They’ll try to bring you down, so keep your goals to yourself and work on achieving them elsewhere.
