We’ve all encountered people who seemed charming at first but later revealed a darker side. Often, it’s the little things that give them away. Here are 17 deceptive behaviours that can reveal someone’s true, ugly intentions. Keep an eye out for these red flags.
Excessive Flattery
According to Psychology Today, “Although fake praise may seem harmless, it can weaken love and be used to abuse.” Flattery can be nice, but too much of it can be a red flag, so when someone constantly showers you with compliments, they might be trying to win your trust quickly. This excessive flattery is often insincere and a tactic to lower your guard.
Constantly Changing Their Story
When someone keeps changing their story, it’s a clear sign they might be hiding something. These inconsistencies can be about small details or major events. They might tell one version to you and another to someone else, hoping you won’t compare notes. This behaviour shows a lack of integrity.
Playing the Victim
Beware of people who always paint themselves as the victim. They often tell stories where they’re always the ones being wronged, never taking responsibility for their own actions. This behaviour is a manipulative tactic to garner sympathy and avoid accountability. It can also be a way to shift blame onto others.
Overly Defensive
If someone becomes overly defensive whenever they’re questioned or challenged, they might be hiding something. They might react with anger, denial, or even counterattacks to shift the focus away from themselves. This defensiveness can indicate a fear of being exposed or caught in a lie.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic where someone makes you question your reality. They might deny things they said or did, make you doubt your memory, or twist facts to suit their narrative. This trait is extremely damaging as it erodes your self-confidence and trust in your own perceptions. It’s a powerful tool for manipulators.
Love Bombing
Love bombing is an intense period of affection and attention at the beginning of a relationship, and while it can feel wonderful, it’s often a tactic used by manipulative individuals to quickly establish a bond. They might shower you with gifts, compliments, and declarations of love, but once they feel they’ve secured your affection, they will drastically change.
Shifting Blame
People with hidden agendas often shift the blame onto others to avoid responsibility. If something goes wrong, they never admit fault but instead find someone else to point the finger at. This shows a lack of accountability and honesty because they’re more interested in protecting their image than in resolving issues.
Being Secretive
While everyone has a right to privacy, being excessively secretive can be a red flag, too, when always vague about their activities, avoiding answering questions, or becoming elusive when asked about certain topics—they might be hiding something. This secretive behaviour suggests they have intentions or actions they don’t want you to know about.
Manipulating Emotions
Emotional manipulators use your feelings against you, including guilt-tripping you, playing on your insecurities, or using your emotions to get what they want. This manipulation can be subtle or overt, but its ultimate purpose will always be to control you.
Lack of Empathy
A lack of empathy is a significant warning sign, too, when someone shows little concern for your feelings or the impact of their actions on others. This reflects that they might be self-centred and manipulative; and this lack of empathy can manifest in various ways, from dismissive comments to outright cruelty.
Talking Behind Your Back
If you catch someone talking behind your back, it’s a clear indication of their deceitful nature. Gossiping and spreading rumours show they’re not trustworthy and have no problem damaging your reputation for their gain, revealing their willingness to undermine you. Trustworthy people address issues directly and don’t engage in backstabbing.
Using Others as Tools
When someone treats people as tools to achieve their goals, it’s a reveal of their ugly truth. They might only show interest in you when they need something and disappear once they’ve gotten it, displaying a lack of genuine interest in others and a focus solely on their own benefit.
Excessive Jealousy
Excessive jealousy can indicate deeper insecurities and controlling tendencies when a person constantly accuses you of things without evidence, monitors your activities, or shows unwarranted suspicion. They might be projecting their own deceitful personality onto you instead of focusing on their own issues.
Sudden Mood Swings
While everyone experiences mood swings, extreme and sudden changes in mood can be a hint that someone is misrepresenting themselves; if someone shifts from loving and kind to angry and hostile without clear reasons, they might be using their emotions to control you.
Selective Truths
Manipulative people often tell partial truths, mixing lies with facts to create a misleading picture, giving you just enough information to keep you satisfied while hiding crucial details that would reveal their true intentions. Selective truth-telling is a way to maintain control over the narrative.
Mirroring
Mirroring is when someone mimics your behaviours, interests, and values to create a sense of connection. While this can be flattering initially, it can also be a dishonest tactic. By making you feel like you have so much in common, they lower your defenses and build trust quickly.
Making Empty Promises
Empty promises are a hallmark of individuals you’ll definitely want to avoid. They might promise you the world to gain your trust and support, but these promises rarely materialise. This only reveals their willingness to say whatever it takes to get what they want, with no intention of following through.
