Good friends support us, share our joys, and help us through tough times, but not all friendships are genuine. Fake friends can cause more harm than good, draining your energy and affecting your well-being. These are the 21 red flags to watch out for in fake friends that you should never ignore.
Constant Criticism
Psych Central reveals that “too much negative feedback can affect a person’s mental health”, which is why you should be wary of overly-critical friends. Constructive criticism is a healthy part of any platonic relationship, but if they constantly put you down and make you feel bad about yourself, it’s a sign of toxicity.
Lack of Support
A true friend will support you through thick and thin. If your so-called friend always seems to vanish when you need them the most or offers lukewarm support, it’s a major red flag. They might be happy to share in your successes, but when the going gets tough, they are nowhere to be found.
Jealousy
Jealousy is a common trait in sham friends, too, as they might feel threatened by your successes and accomplishments and try to downplay them. Instead of being happy for you, they might make snide comments or act distant. This behaviour stems from their insecurities and can create a toxic environment where you feel guilty for achieving your goals.
Self-Centred Behaviour
A one-sided friendship where everything revolves around the other person is draining. The other person can often monopolise conversations, focusing only on their problems and achievements. They rarely show interest in your life or listen to your concerns. This self-centred behaviour indicates that they are more interested in having an audience than a genuine friendship.
Unreliability
If this person frequently cancels plans at the last minute, forgets important dates, or is generally unreliable, it shows a lack of respect for your time and feelings—after all, reliability is a cornerstone of true friendship. Fake friends don’t prioritise you and will often have a list of excuses for their behaviour.
Gossiping
Trust is essential in any situation; if your companion constantly gossips about others, it’s a clear sign that they might do the same to you. Dishonest friends thrive on drama and often spread rumours to feel superior or to manipulate situations to their advantage. If you can’t trust them to keep your confidences, it’s time to reconsider the relationship.
Competitiveness
While a little friendly competition can be fun, a disingenuous person will often turn everything into a contest. They might feel the need to outdo you in every aspect, from personal achievements to trivial matters. This constant competition can create an unhealthy dynamic where you feel pressured to constantly prove yourself.
Conditional Friendship
A true friend loves and supports you unconditionally, so if they only stick around when things are good or when they need something from you, it’s a sign of a false friendship. They might withdraw their support or disappear when you face challenges, showing that their relationship with you is based on convenience rather than genuine care.
Manipulative Behaviour
Manipulation is a hallmark of phony people, too, shown through the use of guilt, flattery, or other tactics to control you and get their way. This can all be subtle, making it hard to recognise at first, but over time, you might realise that you are constantly doing things you don’t want to please them.
Lack of Empathy
If your companion shows little to no empathy for your feelings and experiences, it’s a red flag. They might dismiss your emotions, tell you to “get over it,” or show indifference to your struggles. This lack of empathy indicates that they are not emotionally invested in the connection.
Inconsistent Behaviour
Falso friends often display inconsistent behaviour, too. They might be warm and friendly one day and cold and distant the next, and this unpredictability can leave you feeling confused and anxious. Genuine friends are consistent in how they act and make you feel secure in the relationship.
Taking Advantage
A dishonest person will often take advantage of your kindness and generosity. They might frequently ask for favours, money, or emotional support without reciprocating, and this one-sided dynamic can leave you feeling used and unappreciated. True friendship is about give and take, not just taking.
Lack of Communication
Avoiding important conversations or shutting down when you try to discuss your feelings is a problem in a so-called friend. They might use avoidance as a way for them to dodge accountability or to keep the relationship superficial to suit them.
Making You Feel Guilty
Often using guilt to manipulate you, these misleading people can make you feel bad for spending time with other people, pursuing your interests, or standing up for yourself. This guilt-tripping can erode your self-esteem and make you feel like you are constantly in the wrong.
Lack of Respect
Respect is vital in any relationship, including friendship, so if your friend constantly disrespects your boundaries, values, or opinions, it’s a major red flag. Fake friends might belittle your beliefs, invade your privacy, or ignore your wishes, showing a lack of respect for who you are.
Dishonesty
Your companion may also frequently lie, even about small things, and it can be a sign of a deeper issue. Dishonest friendships could see them deceive you to cover their tracks, manipulate situations, or protect their image, and this dishonesty undermines the foundation of trust in the relationship.
Always Playing the Victim
They also often play the victim to avoid taking responsibility for their actions. They might blame others for their problems and refuse to acknowledge their mistakes. This behaviour can create a toxic dynamic where you feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting them.
Not Celebrating Your Successes
A true friend will celebrate your successes and be genuinely happy for your achievements; a fake friend won’t. If your companion seems indifferent or even resentful when you accomplish something, it’s a sign of jealousy and insecurity. They might downplay your successes or change the subject to shift the focus back to themselves.
Emotional Drain
Spending time with a phoney acquaintance can leave you feeling emotionally drained, thanks to how much negativity they bring into your life, including constantly complaining, or creating drama. This emotional drain can take a toll on your mental health and well-being, making you dread interactions with them.
Lack of Effort
Friendships require effort from both sides. Therefore, if your friend never initiates contact, makes plans, or puts in any effort to maintain the relationship, it’s a sign that they are not genuinely invested. This lack of effort can make you feel like you are doing all the work to keep the friendship alive.
Overstepping Boundaries
One final red flag to watch out for is any boundaries being overstepped. Boundaries are essential for healthy relationships, and a person may frequently overstep your boundaries, showing a lack of respect for your personal space and limits. They might pressure you to do things you’re uncomfortable with or ignore your requests, too.
