Jealousy is an emotion we’ve all experienced at one point or another, but recognizing it in others can be tricky. It often hides behind a mask of friendliness or indifference. Knowing the signs can help protect your peace of mind, so here are 20 clear indicators that someone might be secretly jealous of you.
Backhanded Compliments
Verywell Mind defines a backhanded compliment as “a statement that appears to have positive connotations…but also contains a subtle insult.” One of the most telltale signs of jealousy is receiving compliments that feel a bit off. Phrases like “You look great today, I hardly recognised you!” or “Your presentation was good, surprisingly!” are subtle digs disguised as praise. They aim to undermine your confidence while maintaining an appearance of friendliness.
They Downplay Your Successes
When you share good news, an envious person might quickly change the subject or downplay your achievements. Instead of celebrating your accomplishments, they might say things like, “That’s not such a big deal” or “Anyone could have done that.” This behaviour stems from their discomfort with your success.
Copying You
Imitation is often considered flattery, but when someone is constantly copying your style, ideas, or work, it could be a sign of somebody who’s jealous. They might mimic your clothing, hobbies, or even your mannerisms. This is their way of trying to keep up with you or even outshine you.
They Spread Rumours
A bitter individual might resort to gossip to tarnish your reputation, too. They might spread rumours or share your personal information in a negative light to others. This behaviour is often driven by their need to feel superior or to bring you down to their level.
Celebrating Your Failures
If someone seems a little too happy when things go wrong for you, it could be a sign of jealousy. They might not outright say they are glad, but their body language and subtle remarks can give them away, and this pleasure in your misfortune is a clear indicator they are envious of your usual success.
They Exclude You
Envious people often try to exclude you from social or professional gatherings as they might “forget” to invite you to important meetings or social events. This exclusion is their way of trying to make you feel left out and reduce your influence or presence.
Competitive Nature
They may also have a competitive nature, and instead of supporting you, a resentful person might constantly try to outdo you. Whether it’s in a work project, social setting, or even a casual conversation, they always try to one-up your achievements, and this competitive nature can be exhausting.
Giving Unsolicited Advice
Offering advice is one thing, but when someone continually gives you unsolicited and often negative feedback, it might be envy at play. They might tell you what you should have done differently or how they would have done it better, aiming to diminish your confidence.
Withholding Praise
Someone who is jealous will rarely, if ever, acknowledge your accomplishments openly. Even if you achieve something significant, they might stay silent or give a lukewarm response. Their lack of praise is an attempt to downplay your achievements and maintain their own sense of superiority.
They Act Overly Critical
Criticism is natural, but when it becomes constant and nitpicky, it can be a sign a person wants what you want. They might point out even the smallest flaws or mistakes, hoping to make you doubt yourself. Their overly critical nature is a reflection of their own insecurities.
Fake Friendliness
Jealous individuals can often be two-faced, showing friendliness to your face while harbouring negative feelings, and they could act supportive and kind when you’re around but speak ill of you behind your back. This fake friendliness can be confusing, not to mention hurtful.
Interrupting You
Constantly interrupting you during conversations is another sign of jealousy. A person feeling this way might cut you off mid-sentence or talk over you, trying to diminish your voice and presence. This behaviour is their way of asserting dominance and keeping you from shining.
Making You Feel Guilty
They may also try to make you feel guilty about your successes by saying things like, “It must be nice to have everything go your way” or “I wish I had your luck.” These statements are meant to make you feel bad about your achievements and more sympathetic to their situation.
They Don’t Support Your Growth
Instead of encouraging your growth and development, a person struggling with envy might try to hold you back, and they might discourage you from pursuing new opportunities or downplay the importance of your goals. Their lack of support is a clear sign they don’t want to see you advance.
Acting Distant
Feeling jealous can make people act distant and cold. If someone who used to be close to you suddenly becomes aloof, it might be because they’re struggling with envy. Their distance is a way of protecting themselves from feeling inferior or inadequate.
They Sabotage You
In extreme cases, a spiteful person might go out of their way to sabotage your efforts, such as providing misleading information, interfering with your work, or creating obstacles in your path. This destructive behaviour is a clear sign of deep-seated envy.
Overreacting to Your Mistakes
Everyone makes mistakes, but a jealous person will likely blow yours way out of proportion. They might highlight your errors to others or make a big deal out of small slip-ups. Their overreaction is a way to feel better about themselves by making you look bad.
Seeking Constant Validation
Envious individuals often need constant validation to feel good about themselves, which means they fish for compliments or continuously compare themselves to you. This need for validation is a sign of their own insecurities and their desire to be seen as equally successful.
They’re Passive-Aggressive
Passive-aggressive behaviour is also a common trait among people green with envy. You’ll likely hear them make snide comments, give you the silent treatment, or do things that subtly undermine you. This method is their way of expressing jealousy without confronting it directly.
They Imitate Your Social Circle
One final alarming sign can be if someone starts befriending your friends or trying to become part of your social circle without a clear reason. They could be trying to ingratiate themselves with people who admire you to gain similar recognition and acceptance.
