Marriage takes a lot of hard work and commitment to thrive as it brings its own set of unique challenges. What makes it so tough some even opt out of it? Well, here are some everyday struggles of married people that answer this question for us.
Tiredness
The majority of us are coming home exhausted after a day of work. Work zaps our strength and leaves us with barely any energy in the evening. So, instead of wanting to spend time with our partners, we don’t want to talk to anyone or do anything. But being too tired for one another weakens the marriage.
Smart Phones
According to statistics from Exploding Topics, “the average person spends 3 hours and 15 minutes on their phone every day. And 1 in 5 smartphone users spends upwards of 4.5 hours on average on their phones every day.” We’re spending hours each day interacting with our phones when we could spend time talking to our partners.
Conversing
Married couples might have no trouble talking with one another but lack time to really converse with one another during the day. Because life is so busy, days go by when they haven’t had time to touch base with one another. A lack of good conversation weakens a marriage.
Engaging
Couples have different interests, so it might be hard for them to really engage in conversation with one another. When one partner is interested in something that the other partner isn’t, this might make the couple feel like they don’t have anything in common, and the marriage becomes estranged.
Forgiveness
Marriage.com says that “forgiveness in marriage is a skill that helps couples to process negative emotions and acts in order to build a stronger bond.” Forgiveness is an essential part of a healthy marriage. But if a couple is always holding onto grudges, the marriage won’t have a chance of survival.
Alone Time
It’s great for a couple to spend time with their friends and family and enjoy the company of other people, but they also need to spend time alone together. Alone time allows the couple the opportunity to really talk and to strengthen their relationship and the bond between the two of them.
Generosity
A marriage that will thrive is one that centers around generosity. This means doing things for one another and putting one another first. A couple does well to buy things for one another and surprise one another from time to time. When they do this, they show they care.
Yield
Marriage is about give and take. Sometimes you win, and other times you lose. When you get married, you have to yield to your partner’s preferences or learn to meet in the middle. You’re now a unit, so decisions must be made together, and things might not always go the way you planned.
Listening
Successful conversation in a marriage is about more than just talking to one another; it’s also about listening to one another. We must spend more time listening than we do talking. Even if the subject doesn’t really interest you, your partner will appreciate you having listened to them.
Effort
Marriages require effort for them to work. Effort is needed to make something to eat for your partner that they’ve been craving. Effort is also required to buy them something that they have wanted for a long time. When we put effort into a relationship, it will move forward successfully.
Tone
Although you’re tired and it’s the end of the day, your partner will really appreciate it if you continue to talk to them in a mild and peaceable tone of voice. Our tone of voice can say more than our words do. So, before you answer harshly, remember that your tone of voice could push you further away from your partner.
Body Language
Our body language speaks for us. If you’re spending time with your partner when you’d really like to be doing something else, your body language will let them know, and they’ll feel hurt. Even when you don’t feel like doing something, make sure your body language is always warm and inviting to your partner.
Shouting
Although we might feel tempted to shout to be heard when trying to get a point across to our partner, this isn’t the right way to do it. Shouting or raising your voice will only make your partner do the same, and the issue will not be resolved but will only become worse.
Jealousy
Jealousy is very dangerous for a marriage. Although a healthy attachment to your partner is fine, constantly demanding information about their whereabouts and trying to control every conversation they have and who they talk to simply won’t work. Couples need to truly trust one another.
Family Time
A couple needs to dedicate time to their family. They must spend time together at least once a day, whether that be at mealtime or in the evening before bed. Family time will draw the children closer to their parents and will also draw the couple closer together.
Confidentiality
There are some things that should stay between a married couple. Trust becomes broken and a person can start to feel vulnerable if private matters are discussed with others. A couple should know which things they’ll share with others and which they won’t, so they don’t cause each other embarrassment.
In-Laws
VeryWell Mind says that “one of the best ways to build a relationship with your in-laws is to get to know them better.” Yes, in-laws can put a strain on a marriage. But if you try to get to know your in-laws better, you might find that the things that irritated you about them resulted from a lack of understanding.
Habits
Everyone has annoying habits and things they do that irritate others, and this is also true in a marriage. As a couple, you should try not to do things that will irritate one another. But you should also try to be understanding and accept that a bad habit is simply a habit.
Violence
“Relationship violence, also commonly known as dating or domestic violence (DV) or intimate partner violence (IPV), is a pattern of abuse committed by a person, past or present, involved in a social, sexual, or romantic relationship with the victim,” says Penn Violence Prevention. Violence has no place in a healthy marriage.
