Do you feel like someone in your life lacks the empathy you expect, or perhaps wondering whether you lack it yourself? There are several subtle and obvious signs that indicate when a person struggles with empathy.
Avoids Emotional Discussions
A person who tends to withdraw or even attempts to change the subject when conversations become emotional could also be struggling to feel empathy. They’ll be uncomfortable discussing feelings and likely prefer less personal topics. Sadly, this often prevents them from forming deep connections with others.
Unwilling to Apologize
Some people are simply stubborn, but others who struggle to offer genuine apologies or often make excuses and deflect blame may not be able to understand empathy. You’ll be able to tell because they won’t ever acknowledge the impact of their actions on others.
Judgmental Attitude
Forbes explains that compassionate empathy means listening to people without judgment. So, someone with a judgemental attitude, quick to label others based on limited information, isn’t likely very empathetic. They’ll show very little interest in understanding differing viewpoints or lifestyles.
Insensitive to Social Cues
Those who often misread or overlook non-verbal signals like facial expressions and body language may have difficulty exhibiting empathetic behavior. They may even continue to act inappropriately when others start showing discomfort, which can lead to awkward or strained interactions.
Dismissive of Others’ Feelings
One of the most obvious signs of a person who struggles with empathy is that they trivialize or outright ignore other people’s emotions. They may even go as far as to accuse others of being overly sensitive or emotional, lacking the capacity to recognize that people’s feelings are valid.
Poor Listener
Someone who frequently interrupts or talks over other people during conversations likely isn’t very empathetic. They’ll tend to show little interest in what others have to say and instead focus on their own experiences. This type of person will also rarely ask follow-up questions.
Difficulty in Maintaining Relationships
If a person struggles to form deep, lasting relationships, they may lack empathy. As shared by Verywell Mind, “A lack of empathy can cause people to misinterpret what other people are trying to say, which can ultimately lead to miscommunication, conflict, and damaged relationships.” They might also blame others for relationship failures.
Minimal Emotional Response
Does someone in your life have little to no reaction when others are in distress or experiencing some sort of strong emotion? Do they appear indifferent or uninterested when others share their feelings or experiences? You guessed it—they likely struggle with empathy, which also makes them seem cold or detached.
Self-Centered Conversations
If you know someone who is all “me, me, me,” this is another indicator. This type of person will try to dominate discussions with their own stories or achievements, mostly ignoring others’ contributions. They’ll do what they can to ensure other people don’t have space to share their thoughts or experiences.
Misinterprets Others’ Motives
A person who struggles with empathy is also likely to suspect other people’s intentions, often interpreting neutral actions as hostile. If you know someone like this, you’ll probably have noticed that this can create a barrier to trusting and cooperative relationships.
Defensive When Criticized
According to Psychology Today, “Listening without blame or judgment promotes empathy, which is the antidote to defensiveness.” Unfortunately, this is nearly impossible for someone who struggles with it. This type of person will always react negatively to feedback, often perceiving it as a personal attack.
Competitive Rather Than Cooperative
Is there someone in your life who tries to turn ordinary interactions into competitions? Or do they always strive to outdo other people, even in non-competitive settings? This is another trait of those who aren’t empathetic and often leads to the people surrounding them feeling diminished or unvalued.
Avoidance of Responsibility
Someone who avoids their responsibilities and frequently shifts blame to others is also likely struggling with empathy and is unwilling to accept personal fault. This avoidance means they’re not accountable and it tends to hinder the resolution of issues, leaving others feeling unfairly burdened.
Doesn’t Show Concern
Not being able to express or feel concern for other people is a clear and obvious sign that a person is struggling with empathy. This type of person will find it especially difficult to feel concern for others when that individual’s situation differs significantly from their own.
Rarely Changes Perspective
Individuals who refuse to change their point of view, showing little flexibility or openness to new ideas, may not be able to feel empathy. Being so inflexible like this can really limit a person’s understanding and tends to result in conflicts and misunderstandings.
Insensitive Joking
“Someone with low empathy may joke about someone’s emotions or circumstances. They may also have a difficult time actively listening to you,” as per Psych Central. So, if you know someone who always makes light of serious or sensitive issues, often at inappropriate times, this is your indicator that they may be struggling with empathy.
Dismissive of Emotional Needs
Another sign to look out for is when someone downplays the importance of emotional support in relationships or someone doesn’t seem to recognize or respond to the emotional needs of others. This can lead to feelings of neglect and may damage close relationships.
Impatience With Others’ Problems
Finally, impatience when people are explaining their struggles or personal challenges is a trait exhibited by those who aren’t empathetic. This kind of person will be irritated or entirely disinterested when other people are discussing their problems, unable to show support or offer advice.
