Insecurity can make people act in surprising ways, often leading them to seek attention in any way possible. It’s a behaviour driven by a deep need for validation and reassurance. Here are 17 common ways insecure people might try to grab the spotlight.
Constantly Bragging About Achievements
Psychology Today reveals that bragging “is a form of self-promotion;” insecure individuals often feel the need to boast about their accomplishments, big or small. Whether it’s a promotion at work, a new purchase, or a personal achievement, they bring it up frequently, sometimes in unrelated conversations. This constant need to highlight their successes is a way to seek validation.
Fishing for Compliments
You might notice that people who aren’t secure in themselves often drop hints or make self-deprecating comments to elicit praise from others. They might say things like, “I don’t think I did a good job on this project,” hoping others will counter with compliments. This behaviour stems from a need for external validation to boost their self-esteem.
Oversharing Personal Problems
Individuals lacking self assurance often share their personal issues in great detail with many people, even acquaintances. They might divulge intimate details of their lives, looking for sympathy and attention. This oversharing can be a way to connect with others and feel understood—but it often ends up pushing people away.
Being Overly Competitive
An unconfident person might turn every situation into a competition, needing to prove that they are better than others, whether it’s a casual game, work performance, or even social situations—they have to come out on top. This competitiveness is a way to feel validated through victories, even in trivial matters.
Attention Seeking on Social Media
Social media can be a haven for insecure people looking for attention. They frequently post about their lives, often exaggerating the positives and downplaying the negatives. They closely monitor the likes and comments on their posts, deriving self-worth from the approval they receive online.
Playing the Victim
Self-conscious people might often adopt a victim mentality, blaming others for their problems and hardships, and this behaviour garners sympathy and attention from those around them, making them feel cared for and important. By playing the victim, they can shift the focus onto themselves and their struggles.
Exaggerating Stories and Experiences
To make themselves appear more interesting and impressive, insecure individuals might exaggerate their stories or experiences, and they can embellish the details of a recent trip or inflate their role in a work project. This exaggeration is a way to capture attention and make themselves seem more fascinating to others.
Interrupting Conversations
Those who are unsure about themselves often feel the need to insert themselves into conversations, even when it’s not appropriate, such as interrupting others to share their thoughts or steer the topic toward themselves. This interruption is a way to ensure that they remain the centre of attention, because they don’t want to be overlooked.
Wearing Flashy or Provocative Clothing
Dressing in a way that ensures all eyes are on them is another tactic people lacking assuredness might use. They choose outfits that are flashy, trendy, or provocative to attract attention; this can be a way to mask their insecurities and feel more confident in social settings.
Making Themselves the Center of Drama
A person might also be creating or involving themselves in drama, as a way for insecure individuals to keep the focus on themselves. Stirring up conflicts or exaggerating issues to ensure that they remain the centre of attention is common. This drama can be exhausting for those around them.
Overcompensating with Gifts and Gestures
Those without confidence in themselves might try to buy affection or attention through excessive gifts and grand gestures, because they believe that by giving more, they will be more appreciated and valued. Acting this way stems from a fear of not being liked or loved for who they are, so they try to compensate with material offerings.
Being Overly Agreeable
To avoid conflict and ensure they are liked, individuals who don’t feel secure might agree with everything others say, even when they don’t truly feel that way. This excessive agreeableness is a way to gain approval and avoid rejection; however, it can lead to a lack of authenticity and personal boundaries.
Frequently Seeking Reassurance
It’s also no surprise that uncertain people often need constant reassurance from those around them, and frequently ask if they are doing okay, if they are liked, or if they are good at their job. This need for reassurance is a way to alleviate their internal doubts and gain some sense of security.
Mimicking Others
Insecure people might mimic the behaviours, styles, or opinions of those they admire or perceive as more confident; by imitating others, they hope to gain the same attention and respect. This mimicry can lead to a loss of their own identity as they try to mould themselves into someone else.
Talking Excessively About Themselves
A common tactic for seeking attention is to dominate conversations with stories about their own lives. Those who don’t have confidence might frequently steer discussions back to themselves, sharing details about their day, their feelings, or their experiences, as this self-centeredness is a way to ensure that they remain the focus of the attention they crave.
Being Overly Critical of Others
Sometimes, non-assured folk might criticise others to make themselves feel superior, too, because pointing out the flaws and mistakes of others means they can try to elevate their own status. This behaviour can create a negative and toxic environment, as it often stems from a place of personal insecurity.
Creating an Aura of Mystery
Finally, to keep people intrigued and focused on them, insecure people might create an air of mystery around their lives, including being vague about their plans, hinting at secret projects, or dropping ambiguous statements. This aura of mystery keeps others curious.
